The Power of Darkness and the Return of the Light

Are you scared of the dark?

“I honor the power of this darkness, the mystery, all the potential, the alchemy that takes place inside.”

— Nina Izel

When I was a child, I was terrified of the dark. And I had a reason, too.

You know, many bad things happened in that darkness when people thought nobody would see and know.

I remember many nightmares, and I remember refusing to close my door because the only way I could fall asleep was to look at the light coming through at the crack of the door. And I could hear the noise coming from the living room where my parents were.

You see, my biggest fear was to be alone in the dark. For a long time, I didn’t know why. 

So I always had lights and candles around. But as I grew and became an adult, and of course, went through many years of healing and therapy, I became more comfortable in the dark.

Growing up in a city made me very disconnected from nature. But my grandparents had a cottage in the country where I spent summers and started to reconnect. The sounds of nature and the songs of night creatures were soothing to my mind and body, and I began to feel something relaxing and nurturing in the dark night. Then, I started to travel and go into the jungle of Central America.

I will not lie; on the first night in an open casita in the depths of the jungle, I couldn’t sleep at all. All my fears came back with a vengeance and full force. My mind ran utterly wild. I imagined a jaguar jumping into my house and attacking me. Surely, I would die.

It took me a couple of days to calm down, relax, and drop in and connect. Then, I started to feel Mother Nature holding me and nourishing me. I felt like a baby, gently held and infinitely loved. Nurtured to the core of my being. The darkness was protecting and nourishing me.

I felt like a planted seed.

I was intrigued and called by some unseen force to go deeper. So, I traveled to the Amazon to drink an ancient brew, the most potent medicine for body, mind, and soul. Why? I didn’t know. But I had to go.

I had never experienced absolute darkness before. The lack of electricity and light pollution created a blackness so deep and heavy that I couldn’t see my nose. It was scary. And that was before I drank the medicine.

But, if you think you know what darkness is and that you simply have to close your eyes to experience it, I promise you: that’s nothing close to when you travel into the underworld. Beyond the physical realm, beyond time and space, into a black hole, into the void. I have to confess that it freaked me out at first.

Then suddenly, a tiny drop of light appeared and rapidly grew in the black hole. A door opened in the belly of the dark, and light and colors flooded my eyes. They took shape and form, changing like a kaleidoscope. Whole worlds appeared and vanished into destruction.

And I started to feel this power of the dark womb in the darkness. Rich with potential. Filled with unmanifested seeds. Full of mystery and the power that the darkness carries. I relaxed in awe and opened myself fully to this beautiful darkness. And I fell in love, literally in love. It was everywhere inside and outside and around, and I was that love, that creative force, that potential. At that moment, my fear of darkness felt so funny and small… Then puff! It was all gone, and I laughed.

Since then, I have been friends with the dark. I relax into her, allowing her to nourish and hold me so I can grow and shine. And I feel eternal gratitude. My heart softened. I honor the power of this darkness, the mystery, all the potential, the alchemy that takes place inside. And I know that the light and the dark are united and come from one source: love.

This winter, I pray that we celebrate the power of the darkness and grow strong so we can shine and dance gracefully with both the shadow and light.

Don’t be afraid of the dark. Just open your heart.